Saturday, November 08, 2008
~~Not Myself any longer... ~~
..yes I know I havent updated in like 5 months. ... ...lots of things have happened in 5 months. Probably the most intense of the time Ive spent here in Brisbane. Things that have threatened to tear me apart..things that made me doubt the people I have around me..things that called out banks and reserves of tears I never knew I had.
Yet. I also had things in my life that have been indescribly beautiful. And through it all, a God's thats ever faithful..a God that truly loves me for the creation He crafted me to be. A God that tells me, Im never truly alone.
A beautiful addition to my life since Ive posted is my darling Yewlim. =D. If I could and had the chance to, Id shout it out from the mountain tops.."I Love You!!! ". And not just for what you can do, but for who you are. Uniquely crafted for me by God..in so many facets that Im still finding out now. =). And I still remember vividly, just a few months back that I was thinking.. 'I cant imagine someone for me..someone who'd love me for all my clutter, who'd love me for my childishness and silly dreams and who'd strive to comprehand and love the emotional see-saw of a women's heart. Thats my darling.
Many times in this last few months.. the word 'run away' has been tied to a sugared string and dangled in front of me.. an enticing temptation. It draws out to my inner nature.. to what I would usually choose to do. Run away... ... so they misunderstand you.. they dont really know you.. they judge... they think little of you.. rUn aWaY... RuN AwAy... Many times, the temptation was almost too hard to bear. When things felt like they were falling off all around me. And I miss home..I miss the people who can see through my heart. My parents.. my close friends..my best friends.. The people who would stand by me and encourage. I wanted to run. Like a child. Yet somehow, a part of me has grown up...deep inside. I cant run! Now Lyddie has the chance to stand on her own. To protect the people she loves..to stand for what she's been brought up to. And I thank God I had my darling with me, who would seek to kiss away my tears, who would pray with me and encourage me.... ... Lyddie will seek to stand firm.
School has been... what it always has been. Im working on E. coli now, and despite the stress many times, I can never say I dont like what Im doing. =). And I know that God will get me there somehow. Its exciting!! SO yea. thats my life in a nutshell.. but I will now update regulary.. hahaha. ^^. Once i get my sleep.. .. zzz zzz zzzz. Remember..Lyddie's still the same Lyddie.. and I love you guys... really. =)
