*The Smile*Draped with finery...my tutu skirt protruded out in it's perfection.My dazzling leotard a pale pink, slimmering as light from the spotlight reflected off it. My tights...not a hole in them today..satined point shoes firm enough to support my weight with it's satin ribbons entwined around my ankles, giving the impression that i'm stuck with them forever.My makeup was that of perfection. It accentuated my features perfectly. several layers thick...it's not going to run when I sweat. I stood poised and ready for the music. Going into the dance that would meet the expections of my audience.
Yet in me trembled a heart that was tender and afraid. A heart that was scared. A heart that knew love, pain and rejection. The sea of faces stared expressionless, eyes filled with expectation. I was scared. My face never once betrayed what I felt. Years of experience endowed me with the ability to pick the right mask. My limbs moved with the precision of a puppet. Flawless. Yet in me, I hungered for something more. For a love that would see through my defences, that would love beyoud the perfection of my outfit. To see the soul that was hiding inside.
My toeshoes clopped softly as I twirled on stage. Despite it's beautiful appearance, my toeshoes hurt my toes badly. But it was a profession and one does not show it. Solos...all I ever dance was solos. I'm all alone on this huge stage and it's lonely..really lonely. As my limbs performed what they were programmed to do...I noticed a man from the audience. He was not well dressed from the others. A person of humble dressing i would say. He stood up from the crowd...and from He's eyes shot becons of love that penetrated to the very soul of my being. Something broke within of me. For once, I faltered.. and to my horror, my legs gave way under me. The sea of faces seemed to mock me as i toppled as a leaf onto the stage. But suddenly, He was there. He caught me as i fell. I gazed into His face..I knew Him..i knew Him! Somehow, I've knew Him since the beginning of time. He defined love. Completely faultless, humble and holy. I call Him LOVE.
He swung me around effortlessly and urged me into a waltz. My eyes wided in gratefulness. He saved me from embarassment..from falling flat onto my face. Not a word passed between us as we danced. The steps were foreign...steps that my limbs had not been programmed to do. Yet, He patiently taught me as we danced and guided me with His gentle, yet masterful hands. I gazed into the eyes that contained pure love. The kind of love that gave and expected nothing in return. Deespite my perfect outer appearance, I suddenly felt very blemished. The man had eyes that could see right through to the core of my being. Yet, He's eyes never once showed despise..but understanding and a hope that burned so bright my heart leapt within me. He's eyes conveyed the message clear as crsytal "I have come to give life and to give it more abundantly" I couldnt stop a tear from rolling off my eye. "Forgive me, my Lord" my heart cried. If i didnt know love and forgiveness that day..i saw it all in the eyes of Him who loved me and knew me before the foundations of the earth.
The song came to an end and the man melted into the sidewings. Yet His aura of love bubbled within me. I was no longer a puppet. I was set free! And as I scanned the faces of the audience, I saw them instead through the eyes of the one who loved them.Behind the expressionless masks were hurting hearts, broken spirits. In essence, they were just like me. But I no longer lived a lie. When I gave it all to the man who's eyes could not contain the dept of love, a new fire of life burned within me. I knew then what I was commisioned to do. I wanted to love.. I dont know what tomorrow has in store, but I know who holds my hand..
As I slipped into my final pose, a smile spread across my face for the first time ever. Dang the thick cake of makeup..who cares. The world's my stage..I have to smile.. ...
*Your Grace has found me just as I am..empty handed but alive in Your hands...*
