Lydia's musings.. =)

♥

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

~MicRobIOloGy-less~

I'm not coping well with my lack of microbiology status.Period. I'm trying so hard...and it's stressing me out. For those in the dark..well, I'm in Immunology this week, and well, I'm not saying I dun like it. I AM enjoying it..the people there are rEaLlY great and nice..BUT that doesnt keep me from microbio withdrawl symptoms. And believe me, I'm not one known for self-control. I keep wanting to go back..and go back I do..with whatever reasons I can find..when I'm free of cos.

I guess it the passion..I wanna learn more..how much can u expect me to learn and remember in 1 week? I cant do things by nmemory work...i wanna relate..and when I go back to school..I wanna appreciate my lab work better. But I'm not like assigned tHeRe anymore..so learning is in bits and pieces..and I have to look at the other students try their hand out at it...and it's starting to tax me. I wonder stupid things like "argh..why cant he appreciate and make the most of he's time in the micro lab?!!" I know it's dumb..and i dont deny that it can be boring at times cos you arent allowed to handle patients samples. It life...life comes with rules..i hate it..but i gotta live with it. Running around like that takes time..effort and lots of energy too..cos i wanna be 2 places at a time.The supervisor at micro welcomes be back anytime but her question abt why I love that lab so much took me by surprise...that plus she really small in size and has a voice comparable to Auntie Ivy's. I was so surprised I didnt know what to say...if i said wad i really felt..would she deem me lame..? naive? A sudden passion in microbiology because it gives me a chance to help patients indirectly and the satisfaction it gives of identifying the 'bad guys'? well..either way..i just gave a superficial answer...and blushed red.

I threw myself into writing my assignment for microbio with a vengence...well, it's gonna be important for future personal references..>.< I hope i dont get into trouble for writing too much. I cant help it. sighh...by the end of today..I was feeling positively miserable...i was physically wiht immunology but spiritually with microbiology. Is it a dream too far to achieve? Am i condemned to learning microbio only on what I research and find each night on the interent?

Dear God...if you're the one who placed this dream into my heart...i know that You'll be faithful to carry me through. sigh..i dun wanna feel so miserable..~~

*are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows? are u tired of spinning round and round..?*

Scribbled at 11:12 PM