~*God's prefect plan*~
A blessing in disguise really humbled me and pointed the fact to me that I'm not anywhere by chance. What i think i want cannot bless me more than what God has in store for me. God has definately given me dreams...but now..which path am I to follow? Until i week ago..i was sure. now I'm not.
I was all ready to give up my biotech degree...I dont wanna pursue biotechnology anymore...it might be my one way ticket to IMH...on the express line. That plus, i dont really have any idea what to do with it. The idea of a lifetime of research irks me. I cant imagine myself stuck to this lab running gels...thinking of genes..hey, I'm not God..i dont wanna play God.>.<
A couple of weeks ago...I was so disappointed..in myself..and maybe a little in God. I had no attachment placement..nil.zero...nothing. I wanted to go to Perth..that fell through. I wanted to be attached to the pediatrics dept in NUS (cos i love children)..than fell through..i hoped I could get into animal and plant reserach centre...than at least I could have a feel of how research was like and to fully convince myself that it's not my line..and that fell through too! even all the balloting I went through resulted in nothing!And all that was left were really unrelated stuff. think golden village...and i WAS really tempted to go for GV, cos the pay's pretty good. But when I look back..i'm so glad i didnt..GV got so many people..that biotech students got rejected..and they had to go back to school to do some lame and really boring stuff.I wouldnt have liked it anyway...thank God for grace...
Things turned around when I met Karen by chance after my secound last paper at dover MRT station. So was on the way to work at CGH. I was sharing with her my no attachment placements woes. And she was like.."why didnt u ask my auntie?" and inside my i thought.."as your auntie for..wHaT?" I knew she was in charge of something in the hospital..no idea what. But i wasnt really interested because CGH offered no pay. *poor me* ha ha. That plus it was already so late! In a little over a week, my attachment would start. who would let me in so last minute??But in any case..i gave it a try and allowed her to msg her aunt. The results was as i expected..she doesnt think she can take me in. well..i guess i could survive..But the next morning proved a surprise. Apparently Dr Poh..Karen's aunt called really early in the morning and said she had a place for me..but as usual..u have to go through the normal route with the teacher in charge and stuff..quite interesting..but we managed to get it all sorted and ironed out. thank God..still had problem with my super blur liasion officer..but we'll leave him outta the picture.
I went to the lab on the fist day..not expecting much..but at least i had one classmate with me..whee..and we were not told where to go. God proved faithful again..i saw ex-classmates who KnEw where to go! Phew... the day went well...except for me almost getting a heart attack when i found out our dear Dr Poh was the director of the lab!! O.O But she'll really nice..but how i wished Karen warned me earlier..ha ha...*stress*
A couple of days into it..i feLl in love with the lab. Literally. well..it's a testing lab..* I remember i mentioned above that i disliked research* It was micro lab for me the first week...not a lab witht he ideal smells cos u recieve lots of shit samples..ha ha..and it involved alot of reading of bacteria culture plates. If u havent smelled bacteria before..believe me..it doesnt smell nice. But still..i fell head over heels in love with it..anyway. I missed it soOoOo much during the weekend! argh~ I change lab locations every week too~ sob..i miss micro already..i learnt so much and the people are sooo nice! hee. I'm been diagnosed crazy by eno and too sentimental by my mom~ sigh..dunno la.
I know I wanted a job where I could help others directly. It's been a passion of mine for awhile. lab testing is a huge responsibility too..I love it. But will I give up my dream of taking psychology...to give hope and joy into the lives of the lonely and unloved? To point them to the one who loves them unconditionally? who bought them even before they were born at the price of His blood? I really dunno. That again..I leave to the sovernity of God to decide.
If I wanted in my way..i would never have landed in CGH. God..I know now that Your blueprint for my life is way more complicated and perfect than what I would imagine i want in my life. Nothing can satisfy my better than what u have given me to do. Your grace is sufficient for my needs. Lord..i want nothing better than for You to build the one dream in my heart for me to do...and that it will glorify Your name. I put it ALL into your hands.
*Your ways are higher than my ways..so are Your thoughts, my thoughts..*
